mirror in mirror

"für alina" by arvo pärt is the landscape of my mind tonight. searching for an answer in simple steps, upwards and to both sides and in place. behind. in front. down. out. in. lower, higher, slower, faster, quieter louder soft graceful peaceful harsh meditative pensive unsure undoubtedly grateful proud broken whole


the wrath of god

i am a vessel for words to hide in. i am ears to soak in all your stories, a bed for your tired soul to rest. where does my body go off to when i take yours in for the night, i wonder?


my eyes were closed not two seconds ago, and i was in your arms. i wish i had never opened them. you barely spoke to me, like i was the one imposing on your dream world, my existence too intricate or real for your brain to have created me. you hate how real i am, how much i yearn to feel and create and devour. it repulses you that i have even the capacity to desire you, to desire desire, that unending spiral of unfulfillment


a true love is there somewhere and i am excited for it and i think about it all the time and i desire it and i fantasize about it and i fill my dreams up with it and i want it now



In my dark hours, I have the certain feeling that everything outside this one thing has no meaning. The complex and many-faceted only confuses me, and I must search for unity. What is it, this one thing, and how do I find my way to it? Traces of this perfect thing appear in many guises - and everything that is unimportant falls away.

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