(sort of...)
the mountain winter keeps stopping and starting up again, but somehow a smattering of tiny purple crocuses have still sprouted up all around the garden. i never planted them, and didn't see them there last year... but they are incredibly gorgeous. little fans of purple petals with yellow centers and pale green shoots, and when the flowers are not yet spread open they look like sleeping babies.
☾
my external world has been relatively silent lately. speaking, singing, or expressing myself out loud has been minimal, but my internal world is just as vibrant as ever, for better or for worse.
so, what's been having the most immediate and wonderful effect on my mood so far?
it'll sound cheesy, maybe, but it's yoga.
"the purpose of Yoga is to connect the individual energy with the universal energy, or put another way, to connect the individual being to its source – the Supreme Being."
in the naming, appreciating, and strengthening of every muscle in my body i have been releasing so much that was kept stored and hidden in the recesses of my body. this discovery was not immediate - at first i was just following directions and copying the way the poses looked on other people, and am still known to do that on occasion. the more i stopped looking around myself, however, the more i found my focus shift inward and i am now able to tap into vast reserves of strength and intelligence and that i didn't even know i had.
it goes something like this:
you come to the mat completely clogged with thought and emotion debris. sleeping through the night has helped filter your subconscious to some degree but with every waking moment you are still collecting and absorbing new information, whether or not you realize it. you are thinking about a million other things all at once and it sometimes feels like you might drown at any moment. you center yourself on the mat, fully equipped with the intention to give your best to this time.
whether i'm doing it alone or in a class it usually starts the same - there is the awakening each part of the body, checking in with the spaces we hold inside ourselves, and then the flow begins, through yang-centric poses first and then yin, with plenty of room to rest in between. at the end it feels like you've gone on a journey within your body and you emerge completely filled with gratitude for your body.
☾
